Daddy Gee and a couple of others have been wanting to hear a another story about my ass kicking Bible thumping grandmother....Like I said Grandma Bonnie raised
9 boys BY HERSELF...( well, as the older boys got bigger they HELPED with the younger ones...They were GIVEN a little brother...and if anything happened to
him...IT WAS YOU ASS) anyway...but I have another story involving my daddy....
Daddy was the third oldest..and the MEANEST...The small community where they lived...He was just known as being Meaner than Hell...He would walk 5 miles to ride the ROUGHEST HORSE anybody had...and would fight a circle saw.....and TOUGH AS A TWO DOLLAR STEAK...Matter of fact they were all tough...and as daddy says..."I didn't have a brother who was a sissy. or a wuss...If they hadn't been tough they WOULD HAVE DIED ON THE TRAIL is the way he explained it to me..
Anyway...Pop was about 9 or 10 and had a SLINGSHOT...Grandma caught him with it one day and said..."DON"T BRING A SLING SHOT IN THIS HOUSE...YOU WILL PUT SOMEBODY"S EYE OUT"...So...about two weeks later...Pop makes him a slingshot out of a FORK OR A TREE....Cuts up an OLD INNER TUBE for the Rubber and takes a SHOE TONGUE to hold his ammo in...And apparently he had been shooting all kinds of shit with it that day...When he was at school he caught this girl standing up in the SWINGS and SWINGING...He got behind her when her dress blew up...He shot her in the ass...And out of the swing she went...Stashed the slingshot and didn't get an ass kicking from the teacher..
To make a long story short...He comes in from playing and has this SLING SHOT around his neck..He has forgotten about it....Grandma walks up to him....and says...BOY WHAT DID I TELL YOU?....He said will she was talking she was doing two things: Grabbing him by the hair of the head...and PULLING THAT DAMN HANDLE ON THAT SLINGSHOT DOWN TO ABOUT KNEE LEVEL....He said when she turned it lose...It caught him under the freaking chin....He said...MY damn eyes crossed...I saw stars...It like to have broke my damn jaw!..Didn't even bust the hide...But it got his attention.and she got her point across:,, WHAT I SAY GOES...I AM THE LAW..YOU WILL OBEY ME OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES...,,Like I said...My daddy's family is half Pit Bull and Half Wolverine....Gritty and Determined aren't the words.....So to make a long story short...Dad was an 11th Airborne Ranger...Taught jump school...was just a generally all around little badass..and up until the day my grandmother died. he would say..." SHE MIGHT BE OLD BUT YOU COULDN"T PUT A SLINGSHOT AROUND MY NECK AND DRAG ME THOROUGH THAT DAMN HOUSE WITH HER THERE!...That is why when I see these kids jumping on their family and doing all this CRAZY shit...I think of dear old grandma Bonnie...Her theory was ...You told a chilld NO or to do something ONCE...If you had to tell them twice...In her opinion..They were TRYING to "GET OVER ON YOU".....A retired school teacher told my mother once...Mrs. Bonnie RULED THOSE BOYS WITH AN IRON HAND....You got that shit right...She always had something in that hand...She was a Bad ass supreme...
Daddy was the third oldest..and the MEANEST...The small community where they lived...He was just known as being Meaner than Hell...He would walk 5 miles to ride the ROUGHEST HORSE anybody had...and would fight a circle saw.....and TOUGH AS A TWO DOLLAR STEAK...Matter of fact they were all tough...and as daddy says..."I didn't have a brother who was a sissy. or a wuss...If they hadn't been tough they WOULD HAVE DIED ON THE TRAIL is the way he explained it to me..
Anyway...Pop was about 9 or 10 and had a SLINGSHOT...Grandma caught him with it one day and said..."DON"T BRING A SLING SHOT IN THIS HOUSE...YOU WILL PUT SOMEBODY"S EYE OUT"...So...about two weeks later...Pop makes him a slingshot out of a FORK OR A TREE....Cuts up an OLD INNER TUBE for the Rubber and takes a SHOE TONGUE to hold his ammo in...And apparently he had been shooting all kinds of shit with it that day...When he was at school he caught this girl standing up in the SWINGS and SWINGING...He got behind her when her dress blew up...He shot her in the ass...And out of the swing she went...Stashed the slingshot and didn't get an ass kicking from the teacher..
To make a long story short...He comes in from playing and has this SLING SHOT around his neck..He has forgotten about it....Grandma walks up to him....and says...BOY WHAT DID I TELL YOU?....He said will she was talking she was doing two things: Grabbing him by the hair of the head...and PULLING THAT DAMN HANDLE ON THAT SLINGSHOT DOWN TO ABOUT KNEE LEVEL....He said when she turned it lose...It caught him under the freaking chin....He said...MY damn eyes crossed...I saw stars...It like to have broke my damn jaw!..Didn't even bust the hide...But it got his attention.and she got her point across:,, WHAT I SAY GOES...I AM THE LAW..YOU WILL OBEY ME OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES...,,Like I said...My daddy's family is half Pit Bull and Half Wolverine....Gritty and Determined aren't the words.....So to make a long story short...Dad was an 11th Airborne Ranger...Taught jump school...was just a generally all around little badass..and up until the day my grandmother died. he would say..." SHE MIGHT BE OLD BUT YOU COULDN"T PUT A SLINGSHOT AROUND MY NECK AND DRAG ME THOROUGH THAT DAMN HOUSE WITH HER THERE!...That is why when I see these kids jumping on their family and doing all this CRAZY shit...I think of dear old grandma Bonnie...Her theory was ...You told a chilld NO or to do something ONCE...If you had to tell them twice...In her opinion..They were TRYING to "GET OVER ON YOU".....A retired school teacher told my mother once...Mrs. Bonnie RULED THOSE BOYS WITH AN IRON HAND....You got that shit right...She always had something in that hand...She was a Bad ass supreme...
